Everyone gets so excited for their fifteenth birthday because they can get their permit. People always long for their sixteenth birthday because they can get behind the wheel of a car by themselves. Even on your seventeenth birthday you finally can go to that R rated movie without your parents. Then of course there's the long awaited eighteenth birthday, the day you finally are legally an adult, the day you can buy lottery tickets and cigars, and drive past midnight. But what comes with that next birthday? The nineteenth? Absolutely nothing it seems, but the promise of the last days of your teenage years. Yet as I've had my first taste of my nineteenth year I am seeing that this year is important because what you've learned in the past eighteen years finally starts to catch up with you and sink in for the first time.
So here's nineteen things that I've learned to live by before my nineteenth birthday:
1. Learn to count your blessings- literally. Buy a journal, grab a pen, and write down every thing you are thankful for. And not just the big ones where you make the team or cast list you wanted or you didn't totally flunk that test you thought you would, but the small ones too. The familiar creek of the back door when you get in after a long day, the way the reading lamp glows as you read through the night, or the sound of your best friend's laugh. Before you know it, the line "10,000 reasons for my heart to find" becomes all so real.
2. Don't neglect your relationships with your family members. Blood is thicker than water. You'll be surprised the best friend you can find in your mom, the fashion expert you'll uncover in your sister, the laugh till you're almost in tears good time you'll have with your brother, or the C.S Lewis wisdom you'll dig up with some one on one time with your dad.
3. Let your phone die every once in awhile. You'll find that not being able to be found can be a breath of fresh air.
4. Having chemistry with someone doesn't mean you have to like them. Don't be afraid to fall in love with someone as a best friend. It's a lot less complicated and you may come out with a friendship like you've never had before.
5. Take pictures. Posed group shots. Silly best friend shots. Cute couple pictures. Dare I say it- family pictures? and most importantly unexpected candids. Trust me, that "ugly laugh" you're sure you have is actually the most natural and beautiful side you possess. Dare to document it. Because down the road you'd rather have too many pictures than none at all.
6. You're never as mature as you think you are, and that's perfectly normal. Being young gives you a little room to be stupid, so don't waste it because it won't last forever.
7. Stop checking her Instagram. Tearing all of her posts, tweets, and pictures apart isn't going to make you any prettier or any better of person. Just press unfollow or whatever button that will take her off your newsfeed. You'll find that putting away the measuring stick and stopping the game of comparison will make you feel a heck of a lot better than any roast session will. I promise.
8. Cry. When you're happy, when you're sad. Don't be afraid to face emotions head on.
9. Don't let anyone discredit what you want to do with your life. Don't get embarrassed or discouraged when someone asks you "So what are you going to do with that major?" Simply smile, and tell them you may not be sure, but you'd be more than happy to show them. This is your life, don't let anyone take that away from you.
10. Sometimes all you need is a chocolate milkshake, french fries, and your mom. And that's perfectly alright.
11. You are a part of a bigger story, so don't let a lesser story in your life distract you from that. That ex that you can't seem to let go of, that best friend who deserted you when you got something that they wanted, or that internship that fell through the cracks-- they are all lesser stories. Stop making them big ones. Bigger is always better,right? So don't let the lesser stories take you away from the bigger and better one that's right in front of you.
12. Netflix may be a wonderful cure for boredom, but books are magic for the soul. So read that new romance novel that's been on your shelf since Christmas. Pick up that tattered old favorite and read it again. Sure you may know the ending, but I guarantee you've forgotten some of the magical details in the middle.
13. Laugh at your problems. Go ahead. I dare you. Because somewhere in that laughter you'll find that no your world isn't ending, whatever is happening isn't really that bad, and it's a lot easier to face something with a smile than with a pity party with the attendance of one.
14. It's not a crime to pick a Mountain Dew and cheeseburger over a soy latte and sushi every once in awhile.
15. Don't be afraid to go against the grain. Date that younger guy. Stay in with a small group instead of going to that big party. Wear red lipstick on a weekday. There's no better way to turn people's heads than to walk the other way.
16. Ask people how they are- and mean it. Ask your friend, the cashier at Walmart, your teachers, your parents. You'll be surprised with answers you get and the things you'll learn about the people around you.
17. Do something with your summers. Work at a camp. Serve in a different country. Babysit those kids down the street. You'll look back one day and wish you hadn't sat by the pool and slept in till half way through the afternoon-- avoid that now.
18. You don't always have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Despite what everything in our culture tells you, jumping into something new isn't going to help you heal and move on from your ex. And having someone there all the time to tell you how pretty you are or to cuddle with you whenever you want is extremely overrated. Especially if you haven't learned how to be by yourself on a Friday night or be able to look in the mirror and believe what you see is beautiful.
19. Things don't always have to be complicated. Just keep your dreams big and worries small.
xoxo K
